Our journey to Jerry has been a mess. It has been a rushed process. It has been the classic "hurry up and then wait". The bottom line is that Jerry needed a new placement. He has been in the same foster home for almost 2 years which is pretty awesome. The family provided him consistency and truly loved him.
Jerry was in a "treatment" foster care home. The State of New Mexico has licensed foster homes that provide children a traditional foster care experience. A "treatment" foster care home is generally part of an outside organization that provides children with a higher level of care. There was a period when Jerry was 2 when he needed this higher level of care. Now, due to the consistency and support his "treatment" home provided him, Jerry is doing amazing. He is doing too amazing in fact. He does not qualify for "treatment" and hasn't for awhile. The "treatment" organization was very patient with CYFD (Children Youth and Family Department) and continued to extend his stay. But after some very frustrating court delays, their patience ran out and they drew a line in the sand. He absolutely needed to be placed somewhere new by April 8th, period!
Meanwhile, Derrick and I have been rushing to get our home study finished so we could be that placement. However, getting 2 states to move a process along required persistence and the ability to piss people off enough to get things done. I have both (being a foster parent trained me well). So as the April 8th deadline approached and as our home study lived in purgatory, the situation became bleak. As of April 4th, everyone involved in the case resigned themselves to the fact that Jerry was going to have to be placed in a temporary placement, while enduring a lot of sadness and trauma, until our home study was complete. We were super bummed and worried for Jerry. We really wanted to be the next placement so the attachment and bonding the "treatment" foster family provided him would transfer directly to us.
The rollercoaster went full blast when our home study was approved on April 5th and moved through 2 state organizations in record speed!! On April 5th, Jerry's situation was bleak. By noon on April 6th, New Mexico CYFD was telling me I needed to be there by Friday the 8th (the day he had to move).
There was no way to get me there in 30 hours. I had to notify my workplace, plan care for Dillon, pack, and work out travel details. We had not told Dillon about the adoption so I wanted a weekend to explain what was happening and include him in the process. We spent the weekend creating "the brother's room" and preparing pictures and videos for Jerry. Dillon was excited.
But what about Jerry? He still needed to be out of the home on 4/8!
Enter my amazing parents!! They were approved to be a 5 day placement while I finalized things in Hawaii. They had 24 hours to prepare to pick up their 8th grandchild, who no doubt would be confused and sad to be leaving his home of 2 years.
They picked him up and it turned out to be awesome!! They had a fantastic weekend with Jerry and created memories they will never forget. I am so grateful to have such amazing parents. They turned their lives upside down with no questions asked in the blink of an eye. I hope to have the same attitude and mindset when I am a grandparent some day.
Like I titled this entry...My parents are awesome!!
Right when we brought Dillon (our oldest son) we quickly realized we needed to think of what he would call us! He quickly named my husband Daddy and upon hearing his 2 year old friend call one of his 2 dads "Doda", Dillon decided on Dodie. After years of constantly lobbying for "Papa", I have grown to love and adore my name Dodie Here is a blog about my journey as Dillon and Jerry's Dodie!
My son Dillon was in foster care for 1,377 Days. We finalized our adoption of this firecracker boy in March of 2015 a few months before his 6th birthday. We are now in the process of adopting Dillon's younger brother "Jerry" from foster care! This blog will help paint a picture of two gay men raising two boys in this every changing world.